when lovers become competitors...

i never really thought about it.

he was always the technical one and i'm stuck with customer service.

*now playing janet jackson - discipline*

now, apparently, h2C hs getting promoted as team leader for the stream i'm under. i'm proud of him of course. he only got a little, if any help from me at all.

now the worries arise.

*now playing airel the little mermaid - part of your world*

i wasn't even informed that he was applying for the post. it's not that i didn't want him to. bu a thousand questions popped inot my head the moment i heard it. will he be working here on for the other site? how about his salary? he's already in the city and now he's going back here? why my account? why didn't they tell me? what were they thinking?didn't they feel there was some sort of disrespect by not consulting me?

all these questions, to date, remain unanswered.

*now playing sugababes - overload*

well and good. he passed. now what?

he's moving back here. i think that's the only good thing that came out of this whoopla. he'll be working for the other site. far. an hour's journey. that's not a good thing. he's excited. that i can tell and i feel for him. it 's a new challenge and i know he will do good. and i will be here to guide him. at least i'll be good for something. lol.

*now playing john legend - ordinary people*

we're barely ordinary. homosexual partners who live together. attempting to imitate domestic bliss the "ordinary people" experience.

*now playing kenny loggins - danny's song*

we don't have a son. we have babies though.

• raven - the crazy labarador bitch.
• ashton - the persian cat living on his own terms.
• panget - ugly when he was a kitten, now everyone wants him. adorable furball.
• wazmo - the evil cat who tears everything that crosses her path apart.
• grey - wazmo's baby. has a tendency to become like her mother.
• farrah - the rottweiler puppy who's slowly creeping into our hearts.

we have a lot other pets which passed away or we gave to family. i don't want to dwell on that.

*now playing jessica simpson - a public affair*

my life has been an open book. i never intended on that happening. it just did. i used to be a private person. you won't be able to tell whether i have a problem or not, and if you do find out, i never make a big deal out of it.

so why the change...?

i don't know. my work environment was a big factor. one way to avoid stress is to vent it out. i guess i used that as therapy. though it has its downside. now people act as if it's ok to talk about anything.

*now playing annie lennox - why*

i wanna be alone sometimes. but people got used to me being the jolly one. the one who people run to when they need company. the one who's always available. i ned some time alone too. i need space. it's not that i don't enjoy being the dependable one. but the "shock-absorber" needs some outlet as well.

"No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." John Donne

ok. enough said. :]

wanna see my babies?

this is wazmo...

and her daughter grey...

her son panget...

our first pet juno...

ashton...

raven...

and farrah...

i don't even know why i'm doing this...

I've never been a very effective writer. don't get me wrong. i can and i do write. when i have to. lol. i guess i can consider this as my first blog. unnecessary but Just Because i can, i will. :]

*now playing Janet Jackson - rock with you*

let me introduce myself first.

my name is Ramil San Miguel. you can call me ram. as a child, i was called Jon-jon. which really confused me because Jon-jon was supposed to be for juniors which i wasn't. i was also called gabby or gabs. when i asked my mother why my nickname was so far from my real name, she'd say i was born during Gabby Concepcion's hey days. when the Sharon and Gabby tandem was more popular than everything else. so this brings in the question about my age. lol. I'm 29. born on the 28th of may. enough said.

*now playing Janet Jackson - anytime, anyplace*

i was born and raised in Obando, Bulacan. the town famous for the annual fertility dance. where couples bear the heat and the suffocating crowd so they can announce their vows to Sta. Clara de Assisi so they'd be blessed with their own child. the 3 day festivities also celebrates the feast of San Pascual de Bailon. people flock to him when they need to find a job and Nuestra senora de Salambao - the fisherman's icon. it was said that the this miraculous virgin chose Obando to be her home. she was supposed to be brought to Valenzuela or some nearby town but became too heavy for men to carry. the feast of these 3 icons is celebrated every 16th, 17th and 18th of the may and during this time, the town gets too much attention for it's own good. additional trivia: I've never seen the actual dance. i only saw it on TV. talk about irony.

*now playing Janet Jackson - that's the way love goes*

Obando is a very small town and she was a very endearing yet unlucky town. she is a helpless victim of the annual typhoon season. and when it rains, flood surely follows. and it's not just the rain that fills the streets. we're talking about fish pond and river water. this lasts hours on a daily basis. people would have to use boats on streets to get by.

*now playing Janet Jackson - all for you*

now i want to introduce you to my barangay. Tawiran. Tawiran is isolated. there's a long deserted road before the next barangay south bound and two bridges north. in a small community like this, it's not surprising that people know each other. too well if i may add. the national past time is gossiping and rumor-mongering. this is where i grew up. yet i only know a few people. i never really went out to socialize except when it's play time and if i did, i never bothered to memorize the names of the people i meet. even if we were relatives. don't get me wrong. i don't act high and mighty. that's just me.

*now playing Ace of Base - beautiful life*

i am the youngest of 8 siblings. i have 4 brothers and 3 sisters. i never really had the chance to spend quality time with all my siblings. ate # 2 got married before i was born. i was in the wedding pictures though you won't be able to see me. i was inside my mother's womb. kuya # 1 worked abroad while i was growing up. kuya # 2 got married early as well. i would have had nieces older than i am if not for miscarriage. all my brothers and sisters were already doing their own things while i was still learning to walk. so quality time was very seldom.

*now playing Mika - we are golden*

my mother is 72 years old now while my father is 70. if you did the math, yes, she was around 43 when i was born. and yes, i am a menopause baby. lol. that's not unusual, right? they say menopause babies are either very smart or mentally challenged. i can write, i guess i belong to the former. lol.

*now playing Janet Jackson - special*

my mother was very loving and caring. she gave most of my demands although she tried so hard not too spoil me. i have to admit, i was a bitch growing up. I'd cry and cry until i got what i want. my dad on the other hand was the usual father. strict. I got all kinds of punishment from him. I guess it made me tougher.

*now playing Juana - reyna ng quezon city*

I go too bored talking about the past. I guess I wanna move forward. does that mean something?

I'll talk about something else next time.

not expecting anyone to read but I'll write anyway. just because I can. :]